Imagine that you are on a couples date or engaged in conversation at a party with another couple. Now imagine that you or your partner have good vibes about the other couple, but the other partner is thinking “no no no”. And then THE question comes up and you haven’t had the chance to sync up. There are a number of different strategies for dealing with this… One might be an agreement that if one of you thinks “yes”, you do not respond until the other has had a chance to offer a canned excuse. But that can lead to a long awkward silence. Another might be to simply ask to be excused as a couple to discuss it. But finding a discreet place to talk might not be convenient. Our preferred strategy is a simple system of silent communication. We use love taps. 1 unsolicited tap means “What do you think?” 1 tap in response to something means “I didn’t understand”. Only trick with this one is to make sure that you have your partner’s attention or it could go un-noticed. 2 taps means “No” (two letters). 3 taps means “Yes” (three letters). 4 taps means “I love you”. (This might also be good to use even while playing with another couple to remind each other that you are really there as part of your relationship, not as a replacement.) You can add more, but remember simpler is easier to remember under pressure. Another approach you may use is a special code word or phrase. For example, if my partner says “we need to go home and check on the dog” that tells me that he/she is just not interested. You might say something like “I am so glad the dog is feeling better” if you are interested. Or if I ask “should we go fishing this weekend?” is another way to find out if my partner thinks there is chemistry or not. Depending on the response, such as, “I would like too, but this might not be the best weekend” tells me that there is some chemistry but not to rush things. And of course, I am always hoping for the excited “Yes, I would love to go fishing!!” Planning your phrases or words ahead of time may help you get out of an uncomfortable situation or help get you into a LUCKY one! Use your discreet signals, words or phrases before THE question, and you’ll be better prepared to either say “Hell yeah, let’s go!” or to offer your canned excuse. If THE question comes up before you have had the chance to silently communicate, it is still a discreet way of syncing up quickly.

Many people ask how do I tell the difference in real profiles and fake profiles. Here is a few basics to look for. Pay close attention to the description of the couples. Is everything such as height, weight, sexual preference, etc filled out? The more thought people put into the content the better chance you have. Couples that talk about being happily married and doing family functions “together” such as grilling, boating, traveling, etc are usually more stable and are in the swinger lifestyle for the right reasons. Use caution with profiles that only talk about sex, pictures and hooking up, sometimes couples are in the lifestyle for the wrong reason or you might not be communicating with a couple but a single looking to cheat. All swinger web sites have places for public, private and personal pictures to be opened and closed easily. These sites copy protect your pictures so people can’t easily copy them. Swingers that like to stay private should use this feature and not email or text pictures. When couples say we don’t post pics for privacy issues but are willing to email them they are either putting themselves at a greater risk of privacy or more likely, they could be fake and just want to get your pictures for their own personal collection. You don’t want a family member to Google search your naked ASS on the web. Be very careful of people that ask to IM on yahoo, you have a greater chance of communicating with a fake couple, also single guys posing as swinger couples love to use this tactic. Look closely at pictures, do they match the height, weight and age of the couple? Stick to this and you are more likely to find quality couples. Please always have pictures of the male and female and put thought into the pics you post. The “I just woke up after a night of drinking picture” doesn’t help you. Before taking pics make sure your hair is combed? Make-up on? Pay attention to the background details in your photos, Is the bed made? Are the dirty clothes on the floor? Is the toilet seat up? Is the dog eating your vibrator? Most sites have ways to certify members as being real swingers. Some people think certs mean you have had sex with them but actually it is a great way to simply let others know they are real and are good quality swingers for the lifestyle. I’m not saying people need lots of certs but everyone that is active in the swinger lifestyle should have a few well written, meaningful certs by people they have met. Sometimes you can follow the certs and learn about a persons entire group of friends, this will give you a even better outlook on them. Mostly read the profile to be sure they are a good match for you. Most people in the swinger lifestyle is awesome, however not everyone is a match. Share several emails with them to make sure you have things in common. I always suggest a phone call prior to meeting people, this is the most effective way to be sure they are real and you will connect after meeting. If you ask them to call you and they say, “We don’t have a phone, the dog ate it” you know they are fake!

Meeting a couple for the first time? Where to meet for your first date? Getting into the lifestyle can be a very exciting and wonderful experience but, it can also be very nerve racking. We spend hours on the internet looking at profiles, pictures and messaging couples hoping to find a connection and or attractiveness that both partners agree on. Who knew that finding a couple would be so difficult? Finally, you find a couple that you both agree on and find attractive, you both agree you would like to get to know them better. So the question is “where to meet?” Meeting a new couple is almost like going on a blind date. Just because you have seen some pictures and read a little snippet about the couple doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to hit it off and be compatible. There are so many things that can go wrong. I have experienced and heard it all…. So what do you do? Meet at a restaurant or meet at a local swing club? Some couples prefer to meet at a restaurant. You can spend a couple of hours eating a nice meal, get to know each other a little better and see if there is any chemistry between the four of you. Ultimately, this sounds like the best choice, right? However, if you are a veteran swinger like me, you have had some bad experiences with your dinner dates. Anything can happen and I have heard it all… from the couple that shows up 15 years older than their pictures or not even resembling their pictures. You might even get the couple who shows up to a nice restaurant in a greasy shirt, cut-off shorts and hasn’t seen a shower in a couple of days. I have also heard of the couple that orders everything on the menu and then expects you to pay the bill. Some couples want to meet for a couple of drinks and ready the hit the sheets after 20 minutes. Informing your date that you don’t play on first dates can help you get out of an uncomfortable situation. Maybe there is just no chemistry between you, hard to find things in common, awkward silences, now you’ve wasted your first free night in weeks, spent money on a baby sitter, and all those nights you spent emailing back and forth was a total waste of time. Now you have to go back home and start all over with the hopes of finding another couple that you two agree on. Hopefully you haven’t had any of these situations happen to you. Although these situations have happened to swingers, there has been the successful date when you can’t believe all the stars align, chemistry, attractiveness and you feel like you’ve known each other forever and you become good friends in and out of the bedroom. Other swingers, especially the veterans, like to meet at a local swing club. This can be another good option. You’ve been messaging several couples over the internet and finally get a night free, why gamble with one couple when you can plan to meet several in one night. Your chances are better to find chemistry. You might even meet someone new in the club that you never chatted with before. This sounds like the better choice, however, it does have a few negatives with it. First off, depending on your club of choice you might not get enough quiet, one on one time that you would like. You also run the risk of someone being a little nervous and may drink too much (this could happen in a restaurant as well but I personally think it’s more likely in a club). And then, you may also get the couple that meets and in 20 minutes and they are ready to play (this could also happen at a restaurant). This being said, if something goes bad with one couple the good thing is you can excuse yourself politely and start talking to someone else and your night isn’t completely wasted. The swing club gives you more opportunities to mix and mingle with others and find the chemistry we all look for. The clubs offer lots of like minded adults to talk with and hopefully you will find a couple or couples with that attractiveness and chemistry we all search for. And most swing clubs have some type of quiet room or patio away from the party if you are looking for more conversation time. Meeting in person gives you the chance to get to know each other better than messaging back and forth on the internet. And remember just because you meet at a swing club does not mean you are obligated to do anything you don’t want to. If you find a couple or two that you are interested in, now you have the opportunity to invite them on a future dinner date and hopefully some playtime. With whatever you decide, always remember to be upfront with the couples you talk to and plan on meeting. Whether you are meeting them for dinner or at a swing club, it always better to let them know you don’t play on first dates. And if you plan on meeting more than one couple at a club let them know so there won’t be any suprises. Don’t lead them on and cause unnecessary hurt feelings, this is just drama which no one is looking for. Always be honest and respectful and keep in mind this phrase, Treat others like you would want to be treated. One last word of advice, don’t go out to your local swing club the same night you turned down another couple. The chances of running into each other at the same club could make for some uncomfortable explanations, lol.

Swinging? For some couples it has been their pillow talk and fantasy for months, others have already had some experiences under their belt with close friends. Now you are ready to meet other couples who share those same fantasies. What better place to meet new couples who are open minded and looking to add a little spice to that already awesome relationship than at a swing club. A couples first time at a swing club can be the most exciting and intimidating experience of your life. But don’t worry, we are here to help relieve some of that nervousness. Some swing clubs are public meaning that their address is published they also tend to allow any couple to attend and other swing clubs and parties are more private, they generally have an approval process that all attendees must go through in order to attend, their location is usually private as well and only those approved will be given the location of the club. When choosing a club always use common sense and ask questions, genuine clubs will have a phone number or email address that you can contact, there is usually someone you can speak to for more information or to answer any questions you may have. Most swing club owners or party host don’t mind taking time out for new couples who have questions or reservations and want more information about the swing club and its environment. So finally it is the Night!! The first thing to expect in most swing clubs and events is registration followed by a tour of the facility. This is great time to ask questions that you may have. Don’t be scared to ask a question either, I can guarantee that club owners have heard and seen it all, LOL. If possible it is a good idea to show up early as possible, this gives you time to get to know host/bartenders and meet some regulars, they are some great people to get to know and they usually have great advice and stories to tell, they can also help introduce you to other couples. The important thing to remember is to be yourself, don’t sit in the corner. Be social, don’t hesitate to introduce yourself to other couples. No one is going to think just because you approached someone and said “Hi” that you want to go to bed with them. A good swing club is there to provide a safe, no pressure atmosphere for open minded couples. If you do have an attraction with another couple introduce yourself, ask questions. Some great questions to ask other couples to help break the ice would be: “How long have you been in the lifestyle?” “How did you get into the lifestyle?” “Are you soft swap or full?” Making friends and being comfortable is the key to great swinging. You will find out during your first swing party how down to earth and respectful swingers are. A big misconception about swinger clubs is that many think that if I attend I have to have sex with another person, this is just not true. Attending a swing club does not mean that you have to play, this is a great way to meet other couples like yourselves and if you happen to find another couple with some chemistry you decide the rest… Another suggestion we like to give those who are nervous is to not over drink. If you are attending a BYOB club do not bring extra alcohol to help settle the nerves, this is one of the worst things you can do. Bring about half of what you would normally drink at a regular vanilla social gathering. Some couples tend to over drink due to nerves and they either do something that they regret later or they will pass out and miss a great party. Another great tip we like to tell those new to this incredible swing community is to be honest and communicate with your spouse/partner. Swing Clubs/Events are there to provide a fun place to meet other like minded couples, no one wants to deal with drama. Communication and understanding is extremely important between you and your partner, your mate can’t read your mind, so if you have any anxieties you need to let them be known. We also suggest you let couples know that you are new to the lifestyle, many veterans are happy to give a little extra TLC to help you be more comfortable. Many experienced couples are happy to share how they handled their first swinging encounter, this may also help relieve any anxieties as well. Of course, we don’t mean to imply that you’ll definitely have problems. But if you should, we only wish to suggest that communication is the only real means of solving those problems… Now on to swing etiquette… don’t be pushy! Many couples new to swinging are very often prepared for the fun, but are very poorly equipped to handle the rejections that may come their way. Remember that freedom of choice is every individual’s right in swinging and respecting that right is only common courtesy. Learn how to handle a “No, thank you” graciously and if you have to give out a “No, thank you” be polite about it. Use common courtesy and manners that we learned early on in life. You and your partner may also wish to discuss in advance your particular method of swinging; if you will swing alone or together, soft or full swap, bisexually or not. You may have other personal restrictions you’d like to have honored. ONLY you can decide those issues for yourselves, but please, do so before you start swinging. Hopefully this article has helped relieve some apprehensions. Swinger clubs are a great way to meet other like minded couples face to face and is a great start for some awesome friendships. Happy Swinging and if you still have questions or concerns don’t hesitate to contact us.

“The Lifestyle” and “Swinging” doesn’t necessarily mean partner swapping. Why do we have to be so secretive when we join the lifestyle? Well that’s because of the misconceptions that people have when they hear the word swingers. What they don’t know is that over 15 million Americans are or have tried swinging and have attended a swing party/club. Attending a swing party or club does not mean you have to or want to swap sexual partners. The lifestyle is about being”sexually open minded”. Those who are not in the lifestyle are referred to as vanilla. Meaning they are bland or boring and tend to be very sexually closed minded. Lifestyle couples generally talk about sex openly and share their fantasies freely with others without being judged. Couples that you find at swinger clubs and on swinger social networking websites may have never played with another partner/couple but enjoy the socialization with other open minded adults. You will find a wide variety of interest among the couples you will meet at swinger clubs. There are the voyeurs and exhibitionist that enjoy watching or listening to others have hot sex or they enjoy having sex with each other while others watch them. Many couples that get into the lifestyle are looking for a hot threesome; they are either looking for another male or female to join them and help fulfill some sexual fantasies. The majority of couples are looking for a “unicorn,” a hot woman that will play with the female half while the male half watches or if he is lucky, may get to participate, if it is agreed upon. Everyone has some type of sexual fantasy at one point or another and swinging gives us the opportunity to fulfill these fantasies. Soft swap and full swap, this is also another difference in the lifestyle. Not everyone understands what this is so I will explain it… Soft swap has a variety of meanings but it’s most common meaning is, that you enjoy sexual activity such as kissing, touching, or oral but with no penetration. And full swap means that you are looking to have full out intercourse with another partner. The great thing about that the lifestyle is, that we are open minded, no judging here. Whether you are BI, into BDSM, or just like watching others have sex you can go to a swingers club and find a no pressure environment where you can socialize, dance and maybe meet another couple to help fulfill your sexual fantasies. We have all watched a porno at some time in our lives, how hot it is to watch people having sex, now imagine that you were there during the filming of that porno, live sex between consenting adults. That’s HOT and this is something that you are guaranteed to see at an on premise swing club. You don’t have to be labeled either, you may full swap one night and another night you may only want to be an exhibitionist with your own partner. Most couples chose what they want depending on their situation that moment. They key to remember in the lifestyle is communication, be open and honest with your partner as well as with others that you meet.

What Is Swinging Really? Breaking Down Some Myths… While swinging or swingers is a fairly common term, there are still a lot of people that have absolutely no idea what it actually means or entails. There are so many misconceptions around the swinging lifestyle, and swinging gets a bad name from those who just don’t understand it. I want to talk about a few of the more common myths I’ve come across in this lifestyle. Swinging can be defined as the act of sharing yourself and your spouse with another couple or couples, with the full knowledge of all involved. Swingers are people of all ages, races, and social status. They are NOT all old, fat and ugly people looking for orgies! Based on my personal experiences most are between the ages of 25 and 50 and in model condition. Not all are perfect, but who really is, and some do have fuller figures but many are quite sexy. There is a really good mix of all kinds of people that engage in the swinging lifestyle so it can’t be stereotyped as to what a swinger looks like. That’s right, anyone fits the profile. So, the next time you see your hot neighbors next door and those dirty little thoughts cross your mind…you never know, they might just be swingers waiting to come out. As far as the orgies, I’ve personally never been involved in one of these but I know a few couples who have. Swinging isn’t one big freak fest orgy every time. My version of tame and your version may be very different but it’s not as wild as some people may think. I also want to clear up that just because someone may be a swinger doesn’t mean they are into anal, kinky sex, BDSM, or any kind of fetishes. There are some that are, but this is not a given. I also want to mention that I found in several articles and in conversation it is believed swingers aren’t big believers in protection…and no I don’t mean our right to bear arms! Ok, so my question is why in the world in this day and age with all that is going on with STD’s and unplanned pregnancy would we not use protection? It is actually proven that swingers are more educated and a lot more careful when it comes to STD’s than the average people. They also are found to be tested more regularly and are more likely to use protection than the average person. I had a vanilla friend ask me once if swinging was just my husbands way of letting me have sex with whoever I wanted. Well absolutely not! “Swinger,” does not mean “free to fuck all”. I don’t mean to be so brutally blunt but it really doesn’t mean anything like this and if you have mistaken this lifestyle for that concept you should really take a step back and reconsider your lifestyle choices. Another bad misconception in description is “wife swapping”. This is very inaccurate and implies that swinging is male favored activity, which is not true. Swinging involves the participation of both partners, but between you and me we all know the women call the shots! Now, this is probably one of the most common reactions I’ve personally gotten when telling someone we are swingers, “so you guys go to those parties where you just put your keys in a bowl and pick a partner.” HELL NO! A set of keys are not going to determine my sexual partner for the night! It was actually during World War II that swinger pilots and their wives invented the term “key club”, which was unknown in the forties, became widely known in the fifties and sixties then slowly started to not be used in the swinging scene. Things have made a very nice turn for the better and though these parties probably still take place they are not nearly as common as they once were. Swingers generally are not perverts or nymphomaniacs. This one kind of makes me laugh. Yes, we love to have sex and we are way more adventurous than the average vanilla couple but we don’t necessarily need sex all the time. Most swingers are no more “easy” than the average person. We aren’t out there in society looking for our next sex fix. Swingers usually are very selective when picking their sexual partners. Many swingers are flirty and more free spirited but this doesn’t mean that they are going to jump into bed with every person or couple they flirt with. Swingers like to have some sort of attraction before heading to the bedroom for some hot passionate…well you get the point. We are SELECTIVE! Then of course there is that horrible word we all have heard at some point or another while in this lifestyle…CHEAT. I hate that word and swingers get labeled all the time as cheaters. Swinging is not cheating. It’s so misunderstood and people are quick to set judgment before taking the time to realize that cheating is sneaking around in the dark behind your partners back. Swingers are open and honest with their partners. Both people in a swinger relationship must be involved and open minded before this lifestyle will work for them. In fact, one of the requirements for people seeking to join many swinger groups, clubs, and parties is that they must be in a happy marriage or long term relationship. Swinging is an open honest way of exploring our sexual fantasies without having to “cheat”. It’s a healthy additive to an already strong relationship. If you think about the big picture, swingers don’t threaten morality; we threaten immorality by opening up the option of sex with someone other than our spouse in a good and honest way. Swinging isn’t an escape or a “fixer upper” for an unhappy relationship. If you have troubles in paradise then stay clear of swinging! In closing, there is one thing I am absolutely sure of since becoming a part of this swinger lifestyle. Swingers in a general sense are a happier and more sexually adventurous group of people. A high degree of trust is essential to be a swinger, and you must leave any jealously you have behind to be able to safely explore this open world of sex in a way that is super fun and very entertaining!

There are always questions about male performance and lets admit it guys, its hard to perform in the swinging atmosphere, no matter how well you perform with your spouse. Most of the time alcohol is involved because swingers love a good party. Sometimes a total stranger is present, this can make us very nervous. Sometimes this interaction may take place in a non private environment such as a hotel party or swinger club. Depending on how new you are to the lifestyle your spouse is the only one you have been with in years and this brings up a new list of issues to focus on. You may be thinking, Is he as good to her as me? Does his wife like what I’m doing? How do I get this damn condom on? Most of the time the more your mind says, “get hard, get hard, get hard” the softer it gets. Now what? Did you know most men over the age of 30 are using male enhancements and in the swinger lifestyle most men at all ages are using male enhancements? I know for newbies this is a best kept secret, however let me share some must know information with you. You do have choices such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, these require a prescription but it is very easy to have your family doctor prescribe this for you by letting he or she know you have stress in you life and would like to perform great for you wife. Remember almost everyone in the lifestyle is taking a male enhancement and this will give you a peace of mind when in a full swap situation. Cialis is the best alternative we have found to help with stage fright. A 20 mg Cialis works better than any we have tried and keeps working for days with no side effects. Some people may have some side effects like a stuffy nose in the morning but it seams less with Cialis. I can give you testimonials from hundreds of swingers as to how great this works and how much better things in the lifestyle are when you know longer have to say, “get hard, get hard, get hard.” No matter what your choice is, simply know almost every man in the lifestyle is using a male enhancement product and most keep it a secret. So when the time comes, be prepared to make her say, “Damn that was good, wow it’s still hard, lets do it again!” Ladies ask us about male enhancements as much or more than guys and honestly its about making the lifestyle experience incredible. Every guy wants to perform at his best and every lady deserves your best!